Here are some mistakes that you should avoid:

Do Not Rush Your Profile:

Most new online singles will rush through their profiles in order to get to the search options that allow them to see what singles are available on the dating site.  This isn’t always the best practice as some featured members will see your profile before you have a chance to accurately display your personality. 

Featured dating members usually get first shot at viewing new signups. If you haven’t put up your best picture or accurately described yourself you may find yourself getting blocked by serious singles who are paying to be on the site.  Featured members are the ideal members for individuals who are looking for anything from casual dating to serious relationships.  It is best to remember that and create your profile to the best of your ability as soon as possible.

Have a Good Opening Line – Pick a Great Profile Picture

Your most important opening line is you picture.  Not all of us out there are beautiful in the classical sense yet that in no way should stop us from finding love.   We recommend:

Get a friend to take your picture

Take a picture of yourself smiling – do not attempt to be sexy.  Being happy is sexy.

Be the only thing in the photo.  – Group shots cause confusion and are you do not want to be asked for your friends phone number

Look your best.  – Do what you need to do to look your best

Be Proud – You are who you are love your picture and yourself, there is nothing sexier than that. 

One Liners:  Get Profile Views

You are given one line in most instances to differentiate yourself from the competition.  It is best to choose a line that will make someone smile.  If you can make someone smile with one line you have a tremendous chance of them being interested in you.  Famous movie quotes and lines from the Simpsons are common and cliché but copying is not always the worst thing if you are nervous or can’t think of something on your own.

Here are some examples of great one liners:

For Guys:

1.       Sale! Bras and Panties Half Off!

2.       Abcdefgh...U..N..I...jkl..

3.       The guy in this picture owns a YES stamp

For Girls:

1.       Sale! Bras and Panties Half Off! (works for both J)

2.       Would you like a massage with that beer?

3.       I play sports, play cards and drive better than you

Be Honest: - Don’t be completely honest

Tell the truth about your age, your religion anything that is really important to you and that you really think is important in your mate.  You can shave a couple years of your age if you’d like but no more than 2.  There is nothing wrong with saying you are 30 if you are 32 as most people may miss you if you don’t.  Just don’t say your 30 if you are 35 as you cannot start a serious relationship with someone on a lie.

Don’t tell everything about you.   That you bite your nails, sleepwalk or snore like a chainsaw.  People don’t need to know that about you before they meet you.  Just be honest about what you are looking for and why you are great.

MOST IMPORTANTLY KEEP IT SHORT.  There is no need for you to ramble on about things that don’t matter, past relationships, or anything that doesn’t say exactly what you are looking for in a person and offer as a person.

Say Something.. Anything:

Do not say: “I like to have a good time”.  Say: “I love to dance to techno with my friends”

Do not say: “I am funny” or “I have a good sense of humour.”  Say: “The funniest thing I have ever done was go up to a girl at a party and say.. ”

The point here is not to state your features, but give example of the features that make you who you are.

Do not say: “My friends say I am generous.”  Say: “I volunteer my spare time with sick kids to make them happy”

If you follow these steps you will find you will have a better chance at successfully meeting someone new.  Read our other articles for great online dating advice.

So you have made it to the point where you have found an online single girl or guy that you find attractive enough and personable enough to reach out to.  Most times people make mistakes when sending this crucial first impression email.    Below are some examples of great emails you can send as a guy or a girl in various stages of contact. 

Stage 1 Contact: **Test the Water**

Stage 1 is simply informing someone you think they are attractive and are interested in finding out what they think of you.  It is very important that you keep this email short, simple and catching.  Remember the first thing they are likely to see is a picture of you and the subject line in the email.

Step 1: Make sure you have the best possible photo of you available – Look your best, be alone and be smiling!

Step 2: Use a subject line that is interesting and possibly reflect that you have read their profile or have something in common with them

Here are some examples of great subject lines.

You are beautiful and you love techno!? I’d love to chat.

I would love a chance to talk to you about snowboarding.

I would love a chance to chat with you.  You’re profile is so interesting.

 The key to your subject line is to state “I’d love to chat.” Or “I’d love to talk” so they know what your intentions are before they open the email.  Also it allows them to go directly to your profile without opening the email.  The first step to a relationship online is chatting.  People want to chat with you over MSN or AOL before they meet you.  Make sure you show a potential single that you understand this is the first step. 

Paying a small compliment is perfect way to make someone smile.

Now that they have opened your email it is important to keep the body of the next email as short and sweet as possible.  You need to state what you are doing, be aloof (don’t sound desperate or needy), and do what is necessary to close the deal.  (closing should be to have the person you are interested in add you to the IM client you prefer)

Example 1:

Hi profilename,

I saw your picture and thought you were beautiful.  After reading your profile I thought it would be fun to chat.  Please add me to your MSN: emailaddress@hotmail.com.

Talk to you soon,

FirstName

Example 2:

Hi profilename,

The chance to talk to you is the only reason why I became a paid member on this site.  I think you are one of the most beautiful women/men I have ever seen.  I think we’d have a lot of fun chatting.

Add me to MSN when you get a chance: emailaddy@hotmail.com

Really looking forward to meeting you,

First Name

That is all you need for a first contact email.  Copy and paste either of these and send them to as many or as few people as you want.  You will get more responses than you think.

Stage 2 Contact: **If at first you don’t succeed**

So you haven’t got a response from the person you like.   They could be getting 100 emails a day all saying the same thing or just missed you. It is now time for Stage 2.  Assuming you haven’t been blocked from correspondence as of yet you must remember 1 thing.  YOU HAVE NOTHING TO LOSE.  They are not with you now and if you don’t write again they will not be with you later.

Select 1 or 2 things to focus on in the email.  One of their looks features or one of their profile features.  Tell them something interesting that is going on in your life.  Wait 5 days without a response to write them.

Example:

Hi profilename,

I just got back from **playing basketball/swimming/seeing a movie/eating at restaurant name ** and I thought of you.  It’s your **feature you like** in your picture that makes me smile every time I see it.  I am really busy this week because of work (being a **whatever job you have** is really fun) but I’d love to make the time to chat with you.

Hope we can talk soon:

Add me to MSN at emailaddy@hotmail.com

First Name

This type of email is perfect for Stage 2 contact.  It shows you have a life.  It shows you are thinking of the person you are interested in even though you have a life,  It shows that you are employed and love your job. (always love your job even if you hate it.. being happy is sexy!!)

Most importantly you are asking them to Add you.  For the second time. 

Stage 3 Contact: **DESPIRATION**

It has now been 10 days since initial contact.  You really like this person for some reason and have to email them one more time.   Do it.  Who Cares?  Just never contact them again after this please.

Subject:  Give me a chance to chat with you.

Body:

Hi profilename,

I really want a chance to chat with you we have a lot in common and we will share a laugh or two.  Add me to MSN: emailaddy@hotmail.com

Talk soon,

First Name

Don’t waste your time writing more than this.  Do not waste your time writing about how great you are.  There is a 99% chance that they are not going to add you at this point so don’t be angry or stupid with what you write.  Remember there is normally only 6 degrees of separation between everyone in the world.  With local singles it is likely a lot less.  She could be your boss’ cousin! 

Good luck out there and remember only write 3 times 5 days apart.  Always state what you are interested in: Add me to IM here.  We will talk later about how to chat once they add you to IM!

Coffee

Checking out a local café is a great idea for a first date on a budget.  It’s a casual setting and gives you a great chance to get to know one another better.  The best part for daters on a budget is that you won’t have to splurge for more than a couple of lattes unless you’re dating a coffee addict.  If you find a coffee shop that’s attached to a bookstore, you can always browse the aisles and attempt convince your date that you’re well read and intellectual.

Picnic

A picnic is a great way to do a lunch or dinner date on a budget.  Rather than spending a ton of cash at a chic restaurant, you can minimize your costs and get a little more intimate with your date in a romantic setting.  Make sure you know the area before you take your date out.  Pick a spot in a park or by a lake that is quiet with a romantic view.  However, don’t take your date into the middle of nowhere just for the scenery; this may be a little aggressive on a first date and could send off a very creepy vibe.  Packing your picnic basket is just as important as the location.  You want to try to avoid coming off as cheap while showing some sophistication in your selection.  Peanut butter sandwiches, lunchables and juice boxes will not make a good first impression.  Instead try a bottle of wine, some fruit, bread, brie and crackers.

Free Concerts/Events/Street Fairs

If you are a little worried about your first date and want to meet up in a more social atmosphere, checking out a free concert or event in your city could be the right solution for you.  In most major cities, you can find free street events or concerts on a regular basis.  Finding the right event for you and your date will probably be the toughest part. Pick an event that you think you will both enjoy and that you can discuss.  If you aren’t into the arts, don’t take your date to an art show just because it’s free.  Check out city event calendars online or browse through your community newspaper for a list of upcoming events that could provide the entertainment you’re looking for on your first date.  Possible events could include jazz festivals, farmers markets, free concerts, plays, art shows, street fairs, photography galas, and public film festivals.  If you can’t find a free event that’s right for you, chances are you will find a relatively cheap alternative while browsing possibilities.

Hiking/Taking a Walk

Probably the cheapest date on this list, but still a great way to spend some quality time with someone you are trying to get to know better.  Going for a hike with your date can show that you’re in touch with nature, love the outdoors and enjoy exercise.  Hiking in the right area can also provide some romantic scenery to set the mood.  If you live in the city and aren’t near any hiking trails, consider a walk through a shopping district or your favorite part of town.  If you own a dog and your date likes pets, take them along with you – it’s a good way to show off that you are caring and are responsible enough to take care of a pet.  Make sure to bring some water and snacks along for your hike/walk – otherwise you might appear extremely cheap.

Art Gallery/Museum

Taking your first date to an art gallery or museum is an excellent way to show you are sophisticated and enjoy culture.  Admission to these venues is relatively inexpensive, and sometimes even free.  If you aren’t really into culture, you might want to read up on some of the exhibits before you go so.  This will give you something to discuss and help you maintain your cultured image while strolling through the exhibits. If you find that your date isn’t enjoying the cultural experience, there are still ways to enjoy yourself and avoid first date boredom.  You can always use the gallery as a great place to people watch.

Please Remember No Matter What

Be safe!  Use protection!  And always respect what your partner wants or doesn’t. 

______________________________________________________

Now let’s get to the fun stuff!

There are two main types of women out there in the dating scene:

1.  Party Live-for the-Moment Girls and

2.  Girlfriend Material (aka you can take her home to mom) Material

  If she's a wild girl that you just met at a club, your chances are looking pretty good.  Take a chance!  If she’s in the same mindset as you, then she’ll probably be willing to sleep with you on this first meeting.  Now remember, if this is a Girlfriend Material chick, leave it alone.  Don’t even bother trying!  This is a perfect opportunity to showcase your OTHER skills; making jokes, chatting about politics, discussing art, etc.

The best way to ruin your chances with a woman is to come on too strong too fast.  Women know they are wanted but most want you to appreciate them for more than that.  Women like to be listened to and respected so go that route if you’re looking to impress this lady long term.

While you can’t apply a “one-size-fits-all” response to sexual dating rules, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules before the big date.

Secret Tips… Shh Don’t Let the Girls Read This!

1.       Girls love a man with confidence!  Even if you’re a nervous wreck, act cool and in control.  Despite what they say, a lot of women really like a man who bosses them around and acts “like a man”. 

2.       Don’t come on TOO strong!  Women can smell desperation from a mile away so keep the drooling and begging to a minimum.

3.       Always leave her wanting more.  Women love a chase.  Flirt with other girls in the bar and make sure your date notices.  Don’t go overboard.  Just get her a little bit jealous and she’ll make SURE you never want to flirt with another girl.

 Imagine that you've just had an exceptional date.   You’ve shown her a fantastic time and you've walked her up to her door at the end of the night.  Instead of waiting to see if she invites you in or attempt to initiate a make out session on her front porch, simply take her hand, sweep it up gracefully, and kiss it.  Tell her you had a wonderful time and that you hope she has a nice evening.  Then with a smile, turn around and leave.  Don't stand there and chat, don't wait for her to respond, just leave. 

If you've done your work during the date and she's at all interested in you this will make her knees weak and her desire for you even stronger!  She will run inside the house and call her girlfriends to tell them what a “Nice Guy” or “Gentlemen” you are.  Seriously, women love this stuff.

Most men will go for the mouth to mouth kiss at the end of a good date.  But you’re different right?  When you merely kiss her hand softly, she’ll know you are a special and a different kind of man.  

Guarantee:  She’ll be ready to tear your clothes off the next time she sees you!

**CAUTION!!**

Women are emotional creatures and you always run the risk of hurting her feelings without even knowing it.  Sex on the first date is great if that’s all your looking for, but keep in mind that the girl might have other ideas.  While you’re thanking the gods that you got this girl in bed after only knowing her a couple hours, keep in mind that she may be dressing you up in a wedding tux in her head and naming your future children.

While you can’t apply a “one-size-fits-all” response to sexual dating rules, professionals who have studied the topic say it is a good idea to develop a set of prudent dating rules before the big date.

Not every dating scenario that involves sex leads to marriage or even a serious relationship. 

There needs to be a conversation up front. The woman may assume sex implies a commitment and the man might not see it that way.

**If you just want a one-night stand, you owe it to your partner to tell them that it’s just sex you’re after. While a dating partner may not welcome this news, it at least can minimize later disappointments.